Our Past

You know that moment when you feel like you did 5 years ago, and you hate yourself for it?  When you've slipped back into who you never want to be again?

We've all done it.  We've all done that one thing that you swore you would never do again, been that one person you said you'd never be again.  And I slipped.  And I hate myself for it.  So why share that?  Because I need other people to hold me accountable.  We cannot all just magically turn into the people we want to be.  It takes time and practice.  And, like anything that requires practice, you are going to mess up.  You are going to drop the ball (literally or figuratively) and do what you swore you wouldn't.

Maybe I feel this way because I did something I regret with every inch of my soul.  Maybe it's because I saw The Lion King in 3D and it has the best life lessons Disney could ever teach us.  You cannot change the past.  But you can make it right with yourself and the people you have hurt.  So here's to a big step forward, but not forgetting every little step back.

Tay

A New Title, A New Story...

As promised, I will divulge the meaning of the blog name...

It's my senior year.  We all joke about regressing and doing all the things we really should have done freshmen year, but it's no joke.  We have found our freedom!!!  All my senior friends and I have been doing exactly as we please and saying what's on our minds.  I pierced my ear cartilage (when I just said cartilage, my mom thought I was piercing my nose) and I do whatever I feel like doing.

So what does that have to do with the title?  Everything.  The song from which this title was taken is basically about being honest and true to what you feel, and that's what it's all about.  As I've gotten older (and let's hope a LITTLE wiser) I've learned that it's worthless to do or say what you think you ought to.  You have to be honest with yourself and others.  You just have to.  Be it love, rage, or indifference, get it out!  There's no point in lying to those you love or to yourself, the truth will always find you.  So, senior year is about that honesty, that openness.  Be they good or bad, thoughts, feelings, and actions are gonna happen this year and I will not contain them!  Life is too short, and I'm not leaving with any regrets of not being me.

To quote another amazing Mumford and Sons song: "In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die. Where you invest your love, you invest your life."

Tay